I’m not talking about being “self-made”.
That term that is thrown around by successful people who got everything they wanted.
And really…
I don’t even have anything against them, regardless of how flexible the definition really should be.
We are the creators, and we would never get there if it weren’t for us, but we would also never get there without help.
But, this isn’t about being “self-made”
It’s the story we make up about ourselves that will determine whether we’re getting closer to our better selves or not.
…
Life is not all about success.
But modern life, this human industrial consumerist society, is definitely something that makes success enjoyable.
What matters to most of us are the simplest of human things: love, families, security, adventure, laughter, meaning, and recognition of human value.
That last one seems hard to get these days because the world is moving so fast, we forget to stop and say or give off the implication of ‘I see you’.
(Avatar reference, 'cause I'm a dork)
So really, success is just a benefit and also a sign that we’re getting at least some of those simple human things.
But what stops us from getting them?
If humans are so capable and are so connected, why are we not getting so much of what we need mentally, emotionally, spiritually?
…
Our self-made stories, those continually repeated narratives inside our heads, are powerful things.
And self-improvement is almost entirely reliant on how healthy those stories are. What we tell ourselves about our pasts, about our character, about our possibilities; that’s all swayed by our relationship with ourselves.
It’s completely pliable.
It’s changeable.
Not only that, but it’s something that can be tampered with in a way that changes how we act and therefore what we become.
You want to be the world’s greatest minimalist artist?
You want to be the man or woman who eradicates all human waste?
You want to be the person who finally has a cure for cancer?
Change your story.
…
What I’ve realized is that the tightness in which we hold on to our story, not being able to get out of our own way, depends on how much we express our story.
No, I’m not saying you just get on the internet and start pouring out all your feelings and opinions. That’s not expression, that’s venting.
Expression is what we do to connect.
We express ourselves to find relatability, to bring forth ideas, and to mirror who we are by way of the reactions we get from others.
…
This is what I asked myself recently.
“Why can I not change my attitude and my poor beliefs about myself? Why can I not hold onto my dreams and my goals? How come I always self-sabotage and find myself right back where I started?”
I’ve had to step back and take a really hard look at what I’d done:
I sacrificed all my hobbies for the time to do the work to become something.
I sacrificed all of my friendships and relationships to find better ones.
I sacrificed all my extra money to save rather to adventure.
This happens to so many of us.
We isolate ourselves to have “more time” to change.
And objectively, these things can work…temporarily.
The only problem is that when we do these things, we lose not only our identity because we forget what we love about life, we also lose a sense of who we are because we’re no longer connecting with people that mirror our self-expression to validate to ourselves who we are.
Note: I’m not saying to ask for validation from people and loved ones. I’m saying express yourself and pay attention to what comes back to you.
…
This has been a really hard thing for me to swallow.
Not because I’m afraid to put these things back into my life, but because I put myself in a financial and social desert. I bet everything on red, and I lost.
And now recovery is paramount.
It's going to be hard.
...
Listen, Reader.
Our self-made stories are the very things that will turn us into super humans we see ourselves becoming. The amazing mothers and fathers, the crucial leaders, the shocking artists, the irreplaceable innovators, the overwhelming lovers.
But without those around us…
The chance that our stories will turn against us is almost undeniable.
Be part of the world while you chase a better story.
That is the better story.
Don’t leave the world behind because you’ll never be able to relate to it.
Live life in a way that fills your life.
Or else, you’re no better than those that delay their gratification for 50 years to get 10 years of “glory”, only to realize they wasted so much time waiting to have "the time" to get all those simple human things.
Truth and Love, Reader.
Let’s talk!
I would love it if you left a comment or question. To interact, to hear the voices of my readers, and the wisdom of those beyond my reach.
Thank you for being a part of my tiny world!